We never spoke on the way back. Ruth walked slightly ahead of me, hugging her bag, eyes fixed forward. I trailed just behind, my mind running laps. My friends were still buzzing, whispering and laughing like they'd just witnessed a Marvel post-credits scene. I wasn’t laughing. My mind kept replaying it. The kiss. What even was that? Did she hate me now? Was it just a reflex? Did I mess everything up? We got back just in time for the last class of the day. I slipped into my seat, still dazed. The rest of the guys, especially the ones who’d seen what happened, couldn’t hold it in. The backbench was in full chaos mode—snickering, whispering, nudging each other like little kids with a secret. Ruth, on the other hand, looked completely normal. Calm. Unbothered. She took out her notebook and started writing like she hadn’t just turned my entire universe upside down. How was she so composed? “Back row,†the teacher barked suddenly. “Settle down. You’re disturbing your classmates who came to learn.†The room went quiet for a second. Then the teacher narrowed his eyes. “Some of you can’t even solve basic questions,†he said, grabbing a marker. “Let’s test that.†He turned to the board, scribbled a problem, and spun around dramatically. “You—stand up,†he said, pointing straight at one of us. The poor guy stood, caught between pride and panic. The hype was unreal. You’d think he was about to disarm a bomb. He walked to the board, solved it—somehow—and the entire class held its breath. The teacher stared for a second. “Lucky for you that was an easy one,†he said, almost disappointed. “Sit down. And the rest of you—zip it.†As the others chuckled and patted his back, I just stared ahead, completely zoned out. My thoughts were loud. Does she hate me? Should I talk to her? Do I apologize? When the bell finally rang, it snapped me out of my spiral. I stood up, took a deep breath, and walked toward her with the confidence of a man borrowing courage from his ancestors. “Hey,†I said, nervous but trying to sound normal. She turned, her expression unreadable. “Hi,†she replied. I scratched the back of my neck. “About earlier... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to be—uh—awkward.†She paused for a second, then smiled faintly. “It’s okay. Let’s just forget it.†We kept talking. Nothing deep—just enough to make it feel less weird. Our paths split at the gate: her place was near the tuition center, mine was the other way. As I walked off, I muttered to myself, “Well… I handled that well.†Did I, though? I walked home with a head full of questions and a heart that couldn’t sit still. The sun had set, and everything felt a little heavier. A little quieter. Home was silent. Everyone was already asleep. I grabbed something small to eat, then crawled into bed, hoping—praying—that I could finally sleep. But I couldn’t. Every time I closed my eyes, that moment flashed in front of me again. And again. I turned, tossed, sighed, cursed my brain, buried my face in my pillow… “Argh, this is pain,†I groaned out loud. Sleep never came. ---
We never spoke on the way back. Ruth walked slightly ahead of me, hugging her bag, eyes fixed forward. I trailed just behind, my mind running laps. My friends were still buzzing, whispering and laughing like they'd just witnessed a Marvel post-credits scene. I wasn’t laughing. My mind kept replaying it. The kiss. What even was that? Did she hate me now? Was it just a reflex? Did I mess everything up? We got back just in time for the last class of the day. I slipped into my seat, still dazed. The rest of the guys, especially the ones who’d seen what happened, couldn’t hold it in. The backbench was in full chaos mode—snickering, whispering, nudging each other like little kids with a secret. Ruth, on the other hand, looked completely normal. Calm. Unbothered. She took out her notebook and started writing like she hadn’t just turned my entire universe upside down. How was she so composed? “Back row,†the teacher barked suddenly. “Settle down. You’re disturbing your classmates who came to learn.†The room went quiet for a second. Then the teacher narrowed his eyes. “Some of you can’t even solve basic questions,†he said, grabbing a marker. “Let’s test that.†He turned to the board, scribbled a problem, and spun around dramatically. “You—stand up,†he said, pointing straight at one of us. The poor guy stood, caught between pride and panic. The hype was unreal. You’d think he was about to disarm a bomb. He walked to the board, solved it—somehow—and the entire class held its breath. The teacher stared for a second. “Lucky for you that was an easy one,†he said, almost disappointed. “Sit down. And the rest of you—zip it.†As the others chuckled and patted his back, I just stared ahead, completely zoned out. My thoughts were loud. Does she hate me? Should I talk to her? Do I apologize? When the bell finally rang, it snapped me out of my spiral. I stood up, took a deep breath, and walked toward her with the confidence of a man borrowing courage from his ancestors. “Hey,†I said, nervous but trying to sound normal. She turned, her expression unreadable. “Hi,†she replied. I scratched the back of my neck. “About earlier... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to be—uh—awkward.†She paused for a second, then smiled faintly. “It’s okay. Let’s just forget it.†We kept talking. Nothing deep—just enough to make it feel less weird. Our paths split at the gate: her place was near the tuition center, mine was the other way. As I walked off, I muttered to myself, “Well… I handled that well.†Did I, though? I walked home with a head full of questions and a heart that couldn’t sit still. The sun had set, and everything felt a little heavier. A little quieter. Home was silent. Everyone was already asleep. I grabbed something small to eat, then crawled into bed, hoping—praying—that I could finally sleep. But I couldn’t. Every time I closed my eyes, that moment flashed in front of me again. And again. I turned, tossed, sighed, cursed my brain, buried my face in my pillow… “Argh, this is pain,†I groaned out loud. Sleep never came. ---